#0042

The words swirl round my brain
And I try to capture them-
Gleevac-
Angiogenic switch-
Kaposi's sarcoma-
Constituitively active-
Ideas that are unconnected
Yet form the things I must remember
And know.
This isn't just to stop
My heart from racing in a tachycardic terror
Pushing me close to vasovagal syncope
In the middle of the exam room
As my optic nerves feed the questions through
The optic chiasm and across the optic tract
and radiation to the occipital lobe of my brain;
relaying it to the cortex for processing-
A bit of frontal lobe involvement in the
Planning of my answer.

Not just for that- but so I can apply it.

So that when a young person sits in front of me
With a face distraught after terrible news
I can explain it.
I can talk through it with surety.
I can recall the first confusing memories
And know that she too will live
To talk with great clarity about things
She does not now understand-
In the face of this horrible dream.