#0014

Orchid, I cut you

When you lost your bloom

But I didn't discard you

I kept you in my room.

You reminded me of love I'd known

Over time your flowers fade;

You stood there on my window ledge

Looking barren and betrayed.

I knew that someday you'd bloom once more,

Though your progress was slow.

I nourished you with water

then stepped back and hoped you'd grow.

Today I reaped the rewards

Of not neglecting you

Your first flower of the season

Finally peeped through.

I did not know when your flowers died

And I had to cut you down

That it would be so worth it

When new buds removed my frown.

#0013

There were three men while you were away

Who walked my path for a time,

Though wisdom I would not attribute to all

of those three that shared my climb.

The first of these three men lightened my load

So I grew careless; forgetting my map,

merely following him up the mountainside

Naive, I foresaw no mishap.

On trecherous rocks, I tripped and fell,

And I seemed to have lost my guide,

I crawled forward, blinded by pain,

And the mists reached far and wide.

My eyes filled with terror, I fumbled around,

To find his outstretched hand,

But I was deserted; left quite alone,

I could no longer stand.

In my weakness, the next man appeared,

Walking out of the black,

I feebly shouted, "Help me sir,

I've fallen and lost my pack."

As I made out his figure I realised

He could not help me through

He had no kit, no first aid,

and I was quite beaten and blue.

He was not steady on his legs,

I was knocked further off mine,

And looking down the cliff-edge I knew

I was over the safety line.

I cried for help and a voice came to me,

The voice that I knew from my youth,

It had always spoken quietly and

I knew it would tell me the truth.

I struggled and floundered to get to my feet

All my efforts seemed to be vain

But I took courage from hearing the call

From one who could ease all my pain.

I felt that someone was drawing near

and I reached out and touched a hand

And my map was handed back to me

As I began to understand.

The deep, black mists were clearing

As my journey I once again braved,

And the third man was a hiker, like me,

Who the hand in the mist had saved.

We discussed as we walked together

The troubles we had faced

His destination was the same as mine,

And for a time each other we paced.

The road seemed much more clearcut now,

and after one of the bends

Our maps showed us taking different paths

So we departed as good friends.

I often think about that walk

As into the foothills I climb,

And think about the people who

Have walked with me for a time.

I consider why I spent so long

Making such slow progress

I hope that those lost in the mist with me

Have all moved onto success.

We all have an epic journey

That we must undertake

and though companions may disappoint us,

There is one who will never forsake.

There were three men, mere mortals

By whom the path was trod,

But the thing that brought me to success

Was learning to walk with God.

#0012

A lonely heart, misunderstood,

They would change me if they could.

Perhaps there's something in their mind

That does not recognise my kind.

In class we were asked to think about

Stretching a rubber band over the earth.

Who would be within and who would be without

If it was over exactly half the turf?

Who decides what is a 'normal' brain?

How do we draw the line between mad and sane?

Or between obsession and love?

Perspective even dictates 'below' or 'above'.

Once I had a lapse of will-power

And found myself walking a path

That I will regret each day and hour

Though I can look back and laugh.

Really sanity is a matter of view

Not merely what is false or true

It may depend on circumstance

Can't be determined at a glance.

So you may think what you wish of me,

If you feel to judge,

But I'll leave you to your values

and from mine I will not budge.

#0011

It's Christmas tomorrow,

The day is almost here!

Let's celebrate the birth

Of our Lord, so dear.

His birth had been prophesied,

A miraculous event.

The star bore witness

That Christ was heaven-sent.

The woman who first held Him

Enveloped in her love,

Would see Him rise up to be

The Saviour, promised from above.

The purity so evident

In this Holy Child,

Would be with Him throughout His life,

A man both meek and mild.

I wish that I had been there;

A witness of His birth,

Yet Christmas is a time to walk

As He did on this earth.

It's Christmas day tomorrow,

So let's give as He gave,

Selflessly He lived His life

With all mankind to save.

#0010

What shall I say when I pick up the phone?

"Hi, it's me", "How are you?", "How is life alone?"

Oh, what shall I say- haven't seen you for years-

So the phone rings, I pick it up... and burst into tears.

Unfinished 001

You gave me such sound advice through all my troubles.

The logical, sensible, level-headed approach.

You taught me to 'take the higher ground'

When all I wanted was to fight fire with fire.

Over time, I realised you were right.

You taught me that the solution to a problem was within myself

And that if I wanted people to behave better; I must first.

You were afraid of heights and so I learned to fear them too.

You reminded me to appreciate the dear people in my life.

The ones that loved me, though they didn't have to.

True friends were a matter of quality over quantity.

I'm sure you taught me to walk, talk, dance, sing, laugh and cry. I don't remember.

I'm sure you saw my very first failure; and took more note of my very first success.

You taught me to turn to the mother of my friend when I left a party and say:

"Thank you for having me!" or "Thank you very much."

But you couldn't ever teach me how I should best express my gratitude to you.

I pause at the door of our home.

Bags all packed.

All set.

Car engine running.

Life is ahead.

It's waiting.

I turn to my mother and thank her for the lessons she has given me.

But I do not tell her that my fondest memory is the time I cried alone in my room

Over my aching heart and she said nothing; but held me to her breast like I was just

a young girl again, and kissed my forehead, and let me cry.

#0009 (Fourth Christmas; together alone)

The first one, a Wonder,

The joy you were there,

We enjoyed our Christmas

Not even a care.

The second; love blossomed

And I drew you near

Knowing Next Christmas

You would not be here.

Third Christmas; Not present

Though present you sent,

From your great distance...

But how much it meant!

Soon our Fourth Christmas;

I invite it with glee

Knowing Next Christmas

You'll be here with me.

Rediscovered 003

Today, as I take your hand,

and they pronounce you mine,

the weaving of our lives are joined

the threads all intertwine.

We do not see the whole road

which will fall beneath our feet

but we'll continue together

toward the tasks we must complete.

Today, as I kneel with you,

Inside God's Holy House,

I will feel the eternal joy

of calling you my spouse.

We will laugh, cry and pray together

over the choices we face,

drawing strength as we make our home

into a sacred place.

#0008

I wonder as I'm passing by your name

If I shall ever look at it the same.

Has it really been a year since we met?

The time apart has helped me to forget.

Your shadow, the mere memories of the past,

Will haunt me for as long as days shall last.

Just the thought of what you could be; How sweet!

But reality never could compete.

My second love; I'll never be the same,

Yet one day, I will not recall your name.

#0007

He gave me everything I have,
So I owe Him my all,
I feel the gratitude deep within,
But short I often fall.

I have spent many hours learning of Him,
And the path which He has trod,
Like footprints leading us through the snow,
as we grasp the iron rod.

In my heart I long to be like Him,
But the flaxen cord is strong,
And only His power can sever it,
Helping me back when I go wrong.

Sometimes He lends me His holy view,
And the way ahead seems clear,
Still I stumble and trip over my own feet;
Yet, He is always near.

As I feel unsteady
And my feet are losing grip,
All I need do is stretch out my hand,
He will help me not to trip.

Whenever I do stumble,
When from Him I've moved away,
I can try again in my
attempt to never stray.

The greatest miracle of all
Comes with each restart,
When through His tender mercies,
I am given a new heart.

#0006

Wanting to be somebody
Wanting to succeed
Wanting to be silent
Wanting to scream
Wanting to have faith enough
Wanting to stand out
Wanting to be understood
Wanting to blend in
Wanting to remember
Wanting to forget
Wanting to experience
Wanting to share my mind
Wanting to travel
Wanting to smile
Wanting to have some space
Wanting to be admired
Wanting to create
Wanting to give
Wanting to feign confidence
Wanting to become.

Then, suddenly
Wanting nothing more than to call you mine;
Wanting it forever.

#0005

Is that it, in the distance?

I think I hear the roar,

It sounds like time is ticking by

much faster than before.

I'm looking at my watch to check

if it is really true

but constantly it tells me

that it is quarter to.

I've got fifteen minutes wait

before I join the train..

Is that it, in the distance?

I look once then look again.

I tap my foot impatiently,

for adventures to begin,

I can see it charging forwards now

and a sudden doubt creeps in.

Am I ready for this journey

that could take me very far

away from the place i know

is it time to raise the bar?

I turn and look into the mist

where my train will head

wondering if the way brings joy

or harder times, and dread.

Will I ever know what I may find

when I climb aboard?

The only way to find out

is for fears to be ignored.

Now, it is fast approaching

and my heart still skips a beat

But I know where I am going;

I will not accept defeat.

I imagine in the future

they will ask how I got here-

and answering I'll tell them

it was faith in place of fear.

#0004

I have heard it said of men

That they lie time and time again;

Cannot be relied on for the truth,

But hate correction and reproof.

A man is made of many faults,

Himself he oftentimes exalts,

Yet I can say of some I know

there is some distance left to go;

But they have achieved such steady starts,

With goodness written on their hearts;

My friends will see me through the years

being there to wipe my tears.

For, men can be both kind and wise,

my problems they compartmentalise,

I find that they, too, have need of me;

So we are friends, reciprocally.

Rediscovered 002

Every time you’re with me

I know it’s the deepest thrill

To hold you close and know you need me

And after time, you’ll need me still.

I used to crave excitement

From someone who didn’t care

Someone with independence,

and couldn’t guarantee he’d be there.

I look into your eyes and I see

How deeply you care, how much you need me,

I know that I’m your world

And there’s nothing for you without me.

Rediscovered 001

Does he know I know he knows I lie

When I’m staring straight at him,

And he says the line,

Those three damn words,

And I say them back,

Without a pause?

I know he knows I know he lies;

When he’s questioning me with his eyes

And he sees the truth

But just can’t face it

So he turns away

And says, “I know.”

#0003

The dearest love that I have ever known,

Came to me as sure as a shooting star.

I gazed along the pathway it had flown,

With longing that it would not stray too far.

Though starlight may be lost into the dark,

Our true eternal star shall never fade,

But guide; direct us as we make our mark,

And look back on the lives that we have made.

What God hath joined; let no man seperate-

Our lives entwined; a husband and a wife,

When this day ends; I'll meet you at the gate,

Walking in His path- we found joy in life.

O, dearest love that I have ever known,

Journey with me, until the day is flown.

#0002 part II

You offer me your love,

To be with me forever,

You say you'll give me everything,

We'll always be together.

You say your love is enduring,

you'll never let me go,

So, why, when I ask for two seconds of time

is the answer always, "No"?

#0002 part I

There are so many things I want to say,

I wish that I could help you on your way.

I've cried a tear or two for you and now I find,

That no matter what, you're always on my mind.

Must letting go always bring such pain and grief?

From this I try to find relief

but you had such an impact on my life

and maybe it was not perfect; there was strife,

I got frustrated at you, and you at me,

And there were many times we wanted to be free.

The cords were finally cut.

and all ties severed, but...

There is this one that I can not let go,

Though I have told you that it isn't so.

I know that you and I weren't meant to be,

not soul-mates, though we shared some history.

The love we knew burned hot and it burned fast,

We should have reigned it in; it could not last...

There was no guard to keep us from the pain

when after the fires came the bitter rain.

Perhaps we could have kept each other warm;

throughout the heat and through the bitter storm?

But listen to me; "wish", "maybe", "perhaps"...

These 'what-if' phrases keep me in their traps.

Sonnet 001

To be a woman is a blessed thing,

We hold a power to influence all,

Though mother eve received a dreadful sting,

her gift; pandora's box, the greeks recall.

We gossip and we worry all the time,

seeking the approval and the praise;

yet our real gift is seeing the sublime,

and helping others find the safest ways.

She's not there now, not yet fully furnished,

In things she desires yet most to be,

She has confidence she will be burnished,

And senses, somehow, her divinity.

To be a woman; o, what glad employ!,

sweetness and laughter; love and endless joy.

#0001

I could've spelled it out for you
The As and Bs and Cs
I could've reminded you what was required
If it was me that you wanted to please.
But if I'd spelled it out for you
It would've been far too clear
That the distance you were willing to go
Was: 'not too far from here'.

A man who dreams of building a bridge
So sturdy and so strong,
Will wake to live another day
Doing nothing to help it along.
Another man may see slow advance;
sometimes the bridge may fail,
But a ship pushing against the winds,
has, at least, set sail.